Reality Check

I've been trying to lose weight. But not trying very hard.

I've had a sore throat and some congestion in my chest, so I've been indulging in self-pity along with self-care.

I woke up at 5:30 this morning, thinking about how peeved I've been with committee work for our summer camp, how half-hearted have been my attempts to eat right, how much energy I've poured into nursing hurts and complaints.

The other reason I woke up at 5:30 is that I am haunted by yesterday's Oprah show. (http://www2.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200706/tows_past_20070601.jhtml)

The woman who sat by the side of the road holding her decapitated daughter's head in her lap said that she didn't want to be this way, but what on earth can her friends or anyone say to her about a rough spot in their marriage or a hard day at work, or even parenting challenges. "Are they kidding me?" she said. She hears everyone saying it's been two years since the drunk driver crashed head-on into the limo she and her family were in, on their way home from her sister's wedding ... but for them, it doesn't seem like two years. The sentencing hearing for the drunk driver was just last month -- for them, time is different. This is fresh, and may never ever ever ever heal.

I thank every known and unknown power in the universe that my life is simple, uncomplicated, and untouched by the depth of grief and tragedy I witnessed in that family yesterday.

I resolve to stop whining, stop feeling sorry for myself, and step up to making my wonderful life even more wonderful by getting healthy and keeping things in perspective.

My life is good, and I am so thankful for it and every blessing in it ... especially the people.

Kitten Chow!

Thus far, today, I'm grateful for:

1. Purina Kitten Chow -- which is what my sick cat, Mack, chose as his first ORAL intake in a L-O-N-G time ... about a month.

2. Friends, family, and colleagues who have been wonderfully supportive during Mack's illness. It's been a roller coaster ride of emotions and physical challenges ... not as huge as being the caretaker of small children or sick elders, but a challenge nonetheless. Sharing the ups and downs with caring others has certainly lightened the load.

3. Perspective -- which allows me to understand and appreciate that, in the grand scheme of things, a sick cat ... even a dying cat ... is only earth-shattering for a few of us.

4. Self awareness -- which allows me to understand and appreciate that I work best when I'm focused almost obsessively on an attainable goal, like giving my cat enough nutrition to survive until he will again eat enough on his own to survive and thrive. It's not as overwhelming as "save my cat's life," and not as discouraging as "save the world."

5. The jukebox in my head. Today's song is "Feelin' Groovy."