Being "heard"

I have been writing a lot lately. Most of it is really just reporting, nothing creative, except that an occasional turn of phrase makes me smile or laugh or get a little choked up -- because words affect me that way, and after all, they're words designed to convey MY thoughts and emotions, so if *I* don't "get it," who on earth *will*?

So I've enjoyed the experience of expressing myself through words, but I seldom have the opportunity to get direct feedback that tells me I've been heard. The electronic medium, for all it's "out in the world" and "public" characteristics, is a lonely place of you don't hear from anyone that they're actually reading what you've written.

And, to be honest, one of the joys of writing is knowing someone else has "heard" me. (Not necessarily AGREED, but at least "heard.")

Tonight, I am grateful to have been "heard" by by dear husband, John, who took a lot of time to read all the postings I've made at this blog, as well as all my Thinking Out Loud posts.

I used to worry, years ago, that someone would read my journals. Now I know that even the people I live with are simply too involved in their own lives and their own dramas to care enough to seek out and actually take the time to read anything I've written, unless I actually ask them to.

Thus far, John has been a willing reader when I've asked him. Amy has been, too, especially the posts about her friends. Shannon's read most of what I've written about our sick kitty (who is no longer SICK, thank goodness! yea!) -- but the poor girl is so busy with her studies and teaching and writing research papers and presentations, that reading her mother's blogs is hardly a recreational activity. I completely understand.

So it makes me that much more grateful for the time spent with John tonight, as he read my thoughts from weeks ago and yesterday, and for the feeling he "gets it," too.